I had a therapy session August 27, 2016...
I'd been struggling with diabetes burnout, and taking on the challenges of other diabetic clients is like having multiple lives with disabilities. The newly discovered CGM was amazing but I am constantly aware of my numbers, which is a blessing and a burden. Every waking moment is defined by a number, how I feel is dependent on my glucose level. I have no idea what it's like to have a normal feeling of exhaustion, and it's been weighing heavy on my heart that I'm fighting a daily battle I know I can't win, I just get up and try harder. And some days, no matter what I do, my numbers still make me feel like less of a person with rises and drops.
The arrows in my tattoo show "I am greater than my highs and lows". No matter what my target vs. actual glucose levels are, they don't dictate my self-worth. Am I less of a person who is at 90 when I am running in the 300's? Absolutely not! The dotted arrows are incorporated because there is no up without a down and vice versa. The combined arrows makes a slight infinity symbol because the movement is a constant cycle, but a reminder that things will recover, and this too shall pass. There are highs and lows with glucose readings and in life, but I am greater than any number. Above all, there is ongoing balance.
Finally, the diamonds are created from the arrows because it's the highs and lows that make us unbreakable. Diamonds were pieces of coal that handled pressure in an extraordinary way. And many people want to be a diamond but few are willing to be cut. I take chances because I have faith that putting good out in the world and staying positive will allow me to shine even brighter. As a final note, I appreciate that diamonds take in light and then disperse it in a prism so that others can see the beauty of it.
I love this ink and the peace it brings me more each day, this is my way of coping and remaining grounded while also bringing awareness to others.